AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Losin It by Fallbrooke

I like this song for three reasons, and those reasons have me listening to it non-stop.

1. The lyrics crack me up.

2. The lyrics are super cliché and that’s why I like it.

3. The music video is pretty fun too.

We've been talking from different states

I've never laid my eyes on a girl this way
All this time I had looked away
Over and over I kept playin it safe
Now this time I won't run away
We've never met but I wanna say

I know we've never met except on the internet
I've got the camera by the bed so is your's up yet?
Oh I know this is a fast and crazy connection
But you keep monopolizing all my attention
Even though we've never met I think I'm losin it.

The Glossy Screen is taunting me
I look at you and it's where I wanna be
All this time I had looked away
Over and over I kept playin it safe
I'll just cope and find a way
As long as I know you'll always wait

I know we've never met except on the internet
I've got the camera by the bed so is your's up yet?
Oh I know this is a fast and crazy connection
But you keep monopolizing all my attention
Even though we've never met I think I'm losin it.

Oh I never planned to fall this way
I've never laid my eyes on a girl this way.

I know we've never met except on the internet
I've got the camera by the bed so is your's up yet?
Oh I know this is a fast and crazy connection
But you keep monopolizing all my attention
Even though we've never met I think I'm losin it.

MOTT FUCKING SUCKS MOTT FUCKING SUCKS MOTT FUCKING SUCKS

Wandering Thoughts

I'm a thinker, you guys know that. Any quiet time, car ride, or sleepless night, I think about things. Random things, things that are bothering me, and things that I should be worrying about, but shove to the back of the list in my head.
This list seems to be growing as each of my friends take their leave to start a new life. At first, I'm just jealous, and wish that I could tag along and take all the fun classes, have a defined major, and meet new people. Then I realized that my time will come, and I will catch up eventually. Its a bittersweet kind of thing, and I just need to accept it.
College is the thing that is consuming most of my thoughts at the moment. Closely after that is, of course, boys/relationships. Why did you have to text me that? What does our friendship mean to you? I have various questions for various guys in my life, but they would be better served unanswered. At least for right now.
I really need to focus less on my future. Ok, that's a lie. I need to focus more on how my present decisions will affect my future self.
This is all a confusing train of thought, sorry if you got lost haha.

Random Picture Because I Like It

I went to MSU today to drop off Rosie, and it was pretty amazing. I was considering going there already because I might have somewhere to live. I know that isn't the most important thing right now, because I need a job and I need to find out a major. Mostly the job thing. I know I am not trying nearly as hard, but I think I'm going to go grab more applications from places sometime in the future; from places I already applied. That seems to work for people doesn't it? Gahh, I hate getting a job. I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want one because I don't want it to detract from the time I can go visit people on the weekends. Grr. I need to get my act together. I'm just too tired now with volleyball, people leaving, and worrying about my loan. IT STILL HASN'T GONE THROUGH. I think I'm going to have a heart attack about that later.


By the way, the whole Cam thing still is bothering me. How could someone be so inconsiderate after what we did for them? It's not our fault that your guys friends didn't come when we invited them. Sheesh. Oh well. I talked to him today for the first time since it happened. We only talked about college and such, not dangerous subjects.

Too Bad I Didn't Think Of This Before

Never put all your trust into one person.

Spread it out, let them earn it, or don't let them have all of it ever.

Just a small piece. That way,

when they break that small little piece,

it doesn't hurt as bad as breaking the whole entire thing.

This is about You-Know-Who

So a couple days ago, I let him know that I accidentally planned my bonfire on his birthday. Of course he was unhappy, I would be too. We argued about that, and I found out some things that I did, but didn't want to know. He told me he was breaking his own rules, planning this dinner for his birthday for me, and I felt mad! I have no idea why. I guess, I wanted this to be a one-sided thing. I wanted to be the one left, and left to move on. That's how it was going to be for all of my friends that left. I figured he would make and effort to stay close to me after he left, and that if he didn't so be it, I would be able to move on easier. But what the heck?! Now he is acting so guarded and distant, and I have a feeling it's all because of me. He looked so sad last night, I didn't know what to do. I felt like he avoided me for a majority of the night. I didn't want to ask him what was wrong, because I knew it would set off some nasty sparks. I noticed he wandered alone a couple times last night, but I didn't ask about that either. I have a feeling that I know what is going on, but then again, I'm so clueless and nervous, that I'm not sure what I should say or do.
I'm really afraid for how tonight will go. I relayed to someone my fears, and they told me to just act super happy, but how can I act that things are so good when everyone is leaving, especially him? How can I act so cheerful when I know that he is upset, and I am the cause of it? I just hope that this dinner is just as special as he had wanted, because I don't want to ruin the last time I will hang out with him for a very long time.
He and I have crossed so many boundaries, stepped over so many lines, and broken so many rules this summer, I would hate for that to end on a bad note. Especially since I wouldn't trade the world for those moments. I have never felt so happy, but hurt at the same time. This mixed-up, complicated feelings, I'm sure, are nowhere near their end. I'm sure this is only the beginning of the turmoil and bliss that is sure to come in the future.

I'm Turning Green With Envy

I was going to post this blog about the randomness of my week so far, but my mind has been clouded with only one thing. Maybe I'll share my week with you guys another day.


These constant reminders make me sick. Why did you have to bring up the subject of dating? I know you didn't do it on purpose, but it makes me feel bad about myself. I haven't been on a date since June, but that was with Cam and no big deal, and not meant to be a date. So really, I haven't been on a date since April, and guess who it was with? Bingo. Cameron. The closest thing I've had to a date was on Sunday, with Cam (of course), but he is taken, so it wasn't anything. Just walking around the mall having some laughs and him purchasing shoes. Cam also asked me the same thing when we were hanging out. Just made me realize things. A lot of things that I shouldn't say, but there were a lot of things that were brought up and were talked about.

It just always has to be about him doesn't it? Fuck.

SJDHSKJD

I was generally very annoyed with people today.

To Save A Certain Someone from Boredum

They asked me to blog (BRI).
There really isn't much to say. Life is normal now. I like everyone, I do normal things, my room is almost done, and that's about it.
Although some people have gotten me addicted to stupid websites that make me waste my life away. Thanks guys for showing me stumbleupon and omegle. Sheesh.
I have no idea what else there is to say because my life has become boring. So thank you for wasting 3 minutes of your life reading this entry haha. The End.

Can I have this?

Strange Things Happened Today

I accepted his sincere apology.
I gave advice on first kisses.
I was antisocial and turned down four offers to go out and do something.
I slept in until eleven o' clock.
I had a good long conversation with someone about regrets and learning from mistakes.
I had a good long conversation with someone else who I am becoming closer friends with.
I only had one cup of coffee, instead of my standard two.
I played games on the Harry Potter website.
I got bored with iSketch (gasp!).
I looked up every piece of information about New Moon with my sisters.
I put this picture as my background on my laptop.