Weeeeeeird.

So, I feel a little better after just talking to Bri and having her talk me through this. I barely slept at all last night. It was a mixture of being excited, and being scared shitless. This relationship junk is scary, and I am definitely not used it, but I can learn. Its just going to take me some time. Mostly, I just need to stop over-analyzing things and just go with it.

It's just that I haven't done the whole serious relationship thing in a couple years, and I was given like a month to completely fall for the dude, versus right now where I decided I liked him like a week or two ago. Two weeks ago I decided I had a crush, last week I actually told someone about it.

I just really need to take a chill pill. Or, just down about five more cups of coffee.

I got this.

In All Seriousness.

So, on a scale of one to ten on how badly last night's "date" went, I would give it a six. That's not that bad I know, but its the awkwardness that killed it, and my own nervousness that killed any mood that was set for the night. I was too nervous to hold his hand when we were watching Big Bang Theory, making me come across as a dufus, and then being all awkward when it was time for him to leave. Oh yeah, after about two hours of trying to figure out what the heck to do last night, I just had him come over, that way my sisters could deter us away from any awkwardness that might have ensued, which no doubtingly happened. So we all played some cards, which was fun, and life was grand. He and I probably got through like four or five episodes of BBT, and then we played cards, and then we sat around and talked until Ashley's dad finally decided to take Ashley home after talking to my dad for a good hour first. Yeah, Ashley was there too for the whole time because she came home with Rosie from MSU last night.

I am seriously convinced that he thinks I am a bitch, or that I don't care. Bleh, hopefully tonight will be better. Then again, there will be more people here tonight, so that should change things a bit, and maybe make things a little less awkward. Although, if Anthony comes, then he is about to make me cry of embarrassment, because he likes to put me in those awkward situations. Then I will turn all red in the face, and life will not be good.

God, I sound like a high schooler.

Other than the craziness in my love life, work has been crazy too. We are now onto our third manager in under two months, and another person got fired this morning. So, I am assuming that drama is about to begin. Although, I kind of have a feeling like that my boss is really, really nice, and kind of likes me, but I get the feeling that she is hiding the fact that she is a MAJOR bitch. But so far, I like her a lot, and she seems a lot more fair, even if she has more rules. I am someone who will follow rules and just do what I am supposed to, so I'm not too worried about it. Which makes me feel optimistic about my hours coming up, and then when my availability changes, that might turn awesome. Hopefully I can make up for the lack of funds I am making this month and last month. Because right now, things are tight and blah.

I guess that's how everyone is feeling at this moment in time.

I need more coffee now. Five hours of sleep and being up for the rest of the night is not going to be good for my brain.

Ahem.

I think I have a crush on someone.

What Am I Supposed To Do Now?

I feel very lost and confused in many aspects of my life right now.

Umm Yeah.

Just as a future reference, I am making a new blog so that I can keep from people Googling their names and then finding my blog.

I felt bad that most of you could not read it, so I opened it up, but I want to close this one up here real quick, and get a new one started.

I just need to be careful not to drop last names so creepers won't creep in the future.

That is all.

Rushed.

That's a good way to described how I have been feeling. Bri brought it to my attention today when she asked why I sounded so "rushed." Blehh. I don't really know. All I know is that work is busy, I don't get enough sleep, and plans keep switching around and its driving me crazy.

Also, I hate how everyone is just now realizing that I hang out with Cam. Like, where have you guys been? I don't appreciate your dirty looks when I respond that I am going to hang out with him. This has been going on since December. Sheesh. You guys should know by now that I will defend him until I am dead, and that we are just friends. Goodness.

Why am I complaining? Tis only the life of college student.

I just need to get over it.

I'm doing my best to go to bed EARLY, but its hard because my sleep schedule calls for me to sleep at midnight, and wake up at seven. This waking up at six is killing me, even though there is only an hour difference.

Also, working long hours is kind of meh, but let's be honest. I AM MAKING BANK. Ahem.

I need to not complain. I am really starting to catch up to Rosie.

Although, I really really really really really really want to buy that Droid R2D2 phone, but do I really think I can afford an extra 30 bucks a month to pay for a data plan? That will put me somewhere really close to 400 bucks a month total on bills coming up in the fall. That is scary. I am wondering if I should wait. I don't want to though because I know I will never get it if I don't set aside the money now for it. I just need to not buy anything else. These will be my expenses after I buy the phone:

$40 at least for gas

$30 for my phone bills

So seventy isn't too atrocious, right? I mean, in the fall, the gas bill will become the internet bill, still putting me close to 400 bucks a month.

I have three weeks to figure all this junk out.

Spiraling.

It sucks that the pinnacle of my weekend just happened to be Friday.

I mean, there is nothing really wrong with that, but it sucked because the rest of my weekend just kind of bombed. Especially since Friday was the must fun I had had in ages. I was so happy that people were home, and everyone could make it out to Capitol.

Since Friday night though, I have been living in a fatigued fog with a chance of showers. Its been kind of a bummer. Katie was here this weekend, and it was a lot better than the last time that she paid a visit. Mostly because I was either out of the house working, or she was busy doing homework and running around with Rosie. I can't really explain why everything felt kind of bleh, but it did, and I cannot wait until my week starts.

I'm trying to fill up my days because my boss didn't schedule me extra hours even though I told him I was on Spring Break and that I wanted him too. I am secretly glad that I was able to have three days off, and so far the nights of my weekend off as well.

I feel that now that I might be starting to work and go to school at the same time that my days are going to get very repetitive and redundant. Blehhh, the life of a working class hero haha.

This was a really pointless, lame blog. Meh.