Alice.

Sometimes I just feel so lost, lonely, and confused.

I have to tell myself that they are just dreams. Not dreams of bigger and better things, but dreams that take place at night while I sleep and mean nothing, and are merely silly things that just happen to surface when I leave my mind to control itself; these are just things that my subconscious is attacking me with. They are just like any other dreams that I have: crazy whirlwind rides and make-believe characters, with things that could never be possible, but the feelings and sensations are still there. These dreams leave a sort of feeling after I wake up. Even if the dream took me to a place I could never go, and made me do things I could never do, and made me see things that couldn't possibly be, they tell me a story, and they have a moral to the story. I don't want to feel regret. I don't want to crave that feeling. I don't want this happening to me now. I have been trying so hard not to crawl back into my little hole, and I think I have been doing pretty good with it. Why now? I have to wake up and reassure myself that it was just a dream, and that it was simply silly. Yet, it was my mind that was dreaming it up, obviously telling me that I have something going on there when I am not realizing it. And the weird thing is, I am having a harder time remembering my dreams in their entirety. Before, I could remember every single aspect of what was going on and who was there, and I could tell you how colorful the dreams were and the lighting in the dreams. Now, however, I can only remember bits and pieces, and these bits and pieces are the parts that torment me.

I hate this.