3.

"So things with Florida are starting to come together better than anywhere else right now? So I'm not too sure what that might mean. What do you think you want to do?"

6.

So, I fell asleep at Josh's house while he was taking a shower, and he came to wake me up, and told me I was shaking in my sleep. He looked really worried, but I told him that I had been doing that for the past couple nights now whenever I sleep; it's why I wake up throughout the night with my neck killing me and a really bad headache. This just worries me now, because now I know that it is actually happening, and not something I am making up. Why am I doing this? Why is this happening? My mom is starting to get worried too. It makes me fear going to bed, just because I know I am going to wake up in pain.

8.

Being lightheaded for three days, and finally doing something about it, really makes me dizzy.
This blows.

9.

Into the single digits now.
Chances are looking slim.
But I am way too happy right now to even care about all of that.

12.

That seems like such a small number.
I am becoming more accepting of the fact that there is a bigger chance that he won't get the call to St. Paul than actually getting it. He has come to terms with this too, but I think he is still worried. It also seems that we are getting more attached, and that will definitely not help things at all. I just wish that I could find a way to separate myself more from him than to get more attached. This just does not make things easy, but I guess life isn't easy, is it?
Okay, I really need to stop complaining and worrying about all this. The future can worry with itself.

16.

We cut the legs off of our pants
Threw our shoes into the ocean
Sit back and wave through the daylight
Sit back and wave through the daylight

Slip and slide on subway grates
These shoes are poor mans ice skates
Fall through like change in the daylight
Fall through like change in the daylight

I miss yellow lines in my roads
Some color on monochrome
Maybe I’ll paint them in myself
Maybe I’ll paint them in myself

These sidewalks liquid then stone
Building walls and an old pay phone
It rings like all through the daylight
It rings like all through the daylight

And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I’ll see without these frames
And in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
Cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

I have five clocks in my life
And only one has the time right
I’ll just unplug it for today
I'll just unplug it for today

Open hydrant rolled down windows
This car might make a good old boat
And float down grand street in daylight
And float down grand street in daylight

And with just half of a sunburn
New yellow lines that i earned
Step back and here comes the night time
Step back and here comes the night time

And in the daylight we can hitchhike to Maine
I hope that someday I’ll see without these frames
And in the daylight i don’t pick up my phone
Cause in the daylight anywhere feels like home

18.

I hate sharing my day off with my mom. Grr. All she does is bitch about the stupidest things. Seriously. Sorry for you waking me up at ten and using one dish for my breakfast and that causing the entire kitchen to be a mess. Whoa.
Then, she thinks she is queen of the world, and her birthday isn't until Saturday. Damn. Yeah, I will do something for your birthday, you don't have to get mad at me for having no idea what is going on yet. I'm not home enough (on purpose) to know what Dad and Laura have planned for it. Although, I doubt that have a clue anyways.
Sorry for this pointless entry.

19.

He talked to his old pastor from Florida, and things seemed to be pretty bright down there. He seems excited about it, but once again is faced with the fact that nobody has funds to support such a new type of leader.
Bill seems to be pulling a me. Going back with his girl and getting caught in a situation that he really needs to think twice about. I don't want anyone, ever, to experience and go through what I went through. Its not worth wasting your time to continue setting yourself up for heartbreak. If he just gives it a little time, someone better will just come his way. I mean, look at me? Look how lucky I got? I got one of the greatest friends anyone could ask for. I just need him to realize that, but Bill is free to live his own life, and to make his own choices. At least he knows my opinions on it.
I've been asked to lead Sunday School for Senior High kids while Chris and Josh are gone. This should be interesting. I will be leading with one other person, who is actually way older than me. I don't know if the kids look up to me in that way, simply because I am close to them in age, and because I go up there to participate with them, even though I am too old to go up there. I have nowhere else to go as a college kid while everyone else goes to Sunday School. Oh well. Maybe, in the near future when we receive our new Family Life Ministry worker, they will start some college kid stuff.
Now I am just rambling on about random stuff. Off to the rest of my day in this crazy blizzard

20.

That's how many days I have left to find out if he gets to stay at SP or not.
I feel like it is near the end of summer, and he has to leave soon to get back to his normal life. I feel like this has been one of those cheesy romance movies, or books, where a girl and a boy get together for a summer, let emotions overflow, and then it all comes to an abrupt end, with no closure. How reassuring.
In the meantime, I will keep the fear to myself, because I don't think he realizes that that's the day when things really begin to change.

Words.

I'm a Moses, and you are an Aaron.

Moment.

I am living in the moment, but still keeping one eye open on the future.

Repetitive.

Are you guys dating yet?
Key word, "yet".
That word just echoes through my head, bouncing off each side, letting me know, reminding me, that I am waiting. Still waiting. I have patience like a bulb waiting for the spring air.

Impact.

1. I sort of notice a slight change. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
2. I have almost no self-esteem, but I don't think that matters to you, and you would still like me to do it. I guess I will do my best, because I think I would really like to do it. I mean, why else am I still here?

Strength.

I leave him each day feeling stronger as a person than I did the day before.