Feelings

As much people will hate me for saying this, and maybe as much as I will hate saying this as well, I think I might go out with him again. I can't stand not being with him, and he feels the same for me. We both promised each other some time to figure out what we want, and what we want to fix. I mean, things can change, and maybe my feelings will change. The thing is, I'm afraid that my feelings will change if too much time goes by. God, I'm so pathetic. I really wish that I could change the way that I feel, because the same thing is going to happen again, and everyone knows it. I'm probably going to lose friends or something for this, because people have lost respect for him; I've had like 20 people tell me this. These same people will lose respect for me as well, because I'm going to be with a guy they lost respect for. This whole first love thing is so confusing and it sucks. I either wish that 1. none of this stupid stuff happened, and that he didn't do those dumb things, and we just lived happily ever after, or 2. that I hadn't gone back out with him the third time. Geez, I'm hopeless...