Moving

I think I did pretty well today. I presumed that I would find myself in the bathroom, crying every now and then, making myself seem like a dramatic cry-baby. On the other hand, I was pretty much my normal self. I was called hostile today as a joke, but could tell that the person who said it was being slightly serious. I think I do have a pretty good reason to be hostile, especially towards a guy who thinks I'm easily persuaded. I think I will seriously kick some guys ass if they think they can get me on the rebound. All I have to do is look forward to all the dances I'm going to (up to 3 now in the next month) and all the fun times I will be with my friends. As lame and stupid as this sounds, Valentine's might be sort of hard for me, only because we had some ideas about what we wanted to do, and the fact that my twin has a boyfriend and I'm going to be jealous of that.

I wonder how tomorrow will go. Will he be back in school? Will he confront me? I don't think I will have too much of a problem if he does, I will be maybe sad, but also feel very, very awkward. I know I will get used to it eventually, but it will take some time. I know that I will get back into the swing of being single again. I think I enjoy the freedom right now. I going to dance with whoever I want at these dances, see the people I want to see, and just do whatever makes me happy.

It's such a relief that I don't have to feel awkward about going to his house when we are both feeling unsure of the other. Or seeing each other in the hall and feeling guilty or feeling ashamed. Its like a huge weight has lifted off of me, and I am free from it now. I am going to miss it, but now that I think about it, it will be good for me in the long run. I think I'm going to stay away from relationships for a good long time now...