I feel like I haven't written, or blogged in ages. So much has happened in the fast few days, that I feel like I'm going through life in a blur. Prom was fantastic. I had a very controversial dance with Cam, but I'm over it and it was totally worth it. You guys probably don't understand, but he has owed me that dance since the fall, so please just let me live with the joy of it in peace. Thank you.
He and I are just living as friends currently; this was his decision, and he seemed unsure about it. So I guess I have to wait and see how that goes as well. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, but something keeps pulling me back to him. Maybe its the fact that he tells me that he enjoys having me as a really close friend. Maybe it was the other things that he said to me in confidence (that I will not share with you now). He seems to have a spell over me that has him in total control of my heart and my well being. I have told him on several occasions that I think he is trying to kill me, but he just just keeps telling me that he would feel at a loss without me to go to about some things. Sometimes I feel that I talk to him more than he talks to his girlfriend, but oh well. That's life I guess. We are naive adolescents who don't know what they want. We need certain people in our lives, even if they cause problems. Maybe that's what makes life so charming; these complicated relationships that make us fight for what we want. I know that's truly willing to fight for: someone I care so much about that I cant imagine life without them, no matter how hard it is to live with them. I really thank God that he has given me these people to fight for. That's what Cam seems like to me; someone worth fighting for, because I know life would not be the same without him, even if its hard to love with him.
He and I are just living as friends currently; this was his decision, and he seemed unsure about it. So I guess I have to wait and see how that goes as well. I'm trying my hardest to get over him, but something keeps pulling me back to him. Maybe its the fact that he tells me that he enjoys having me as a really close friend. Maybe it was the other things that he said to me in confidence (that I will not share with you now). He seems to have a spell over me that has him in total control of my heart and my well being. I have told him on several occasions that I think he is trying to kill me, but he just just keeps telling me that he would feel at a loss without me to go to about some things. Sometimes I feel that I talk to him more than he talks to his girlfriend, but oh well. That's life I guess. We are naive adolescents who don't know what they want. We need certain people in our lives, even if they cause problems. Maybe that's what makes life so charming; these complicated relationships that make us fight for what we want. I know that's truly willing to fight for: someone I care so much about that I cant imagine life without them, no matter how hard it is to live with them. I really thank God that he has given me these people to fight for. That's what Cam seems like to me; someone worth fighting for, because I know life would not be the same without him, even if its hard to love with him.
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