Surprisingly Unphased

I know I should be beyond pissed by how much I have run into this trap, but I have become so numb and used to it by now, I seem barely phased by it. Its sad actually, but I know that I will make matters worse like before if I continue being dramatic about it. I don't know why I kept fighting, only to know that he would continue with the same pattern; causing us to fall for each other all over again, getting pissed, and starting from scratch. I'm sick of his cold feet, and I'm slightly glad that he will retain himself in the future, even though its a sad thing to accept. I am more willing to move on now, and probably will become annoyingly flirtatious as I tend to do. I don't want to spiral into depression or whatever the hell that was just like a month ago. I don't want to waiver in front of him. I want to keep strong, but still remain friends. I just need to keep my head up.