Mark was right...

...this feeling will take at least two months to go away.

I still get that burning feeling in my stomach, those bad butterflies, whenever I see them. Luckily, I never see them together, but I still cant stop thinking about all what its like for them. It was exceptionally weird today, because we all had games at Powers, she had softball, he had baseball, and I had soccer. I kept wondering if he could see me or not, and then I thought that he would prefer the softball field more than the soccer field anyways. Every time I looked at the baseball field, I internally swore to myself, and just had to try and shake any thought out of my head.

So today I wasn't sure what to make of this situation. Usually he and I are determined to avoid each other at all costs, well at least I am; I avoid glances, talking, recognition, walking near him, the whole shebang. So in my usual hurry to be away from him after second hour, a class I share with him, I swiftly made my exit with Angie to go to our next hour we had together. The weird thing, was that Cam followed. I was like uhhh? he usually goes the other way now, because I think he tries to avoid me too. I tried to ignore it, and continued to talk to Angie. She began to comment on how my hair tie is green, and does not match my outfit in any way. I tried to explain to her that I ran out of normal colors, and I didn't want to use the yellowy ones. She still was saying that I horribly clashed and tried to make fun of me, and I laughed along with her. I stole a glance back at Cam, and he was smiling too. Was he part of our conversation now? I tried not to feel incredibly awkward, or I made it out to be that I wasn't, because Angie seemed fine with it. Then we got on the argument at how I don't really like blue compared to green, and that I would rather wear a green hair tie, rather than blue because green is my favorite color. Then we got to the corner where Angie and I usually turn to go upstairs, and Cam would go the other way. The he said, " I personally think a blue would look better."

??????????????

What the hell does that mean? I couldn't tell if he was joking or not! He said it with a smile, and Angie laughed and said, "Thank you!" I was literally dumbfounded. I'm still debating with what was going on. Was he being a smart ass jerk, or was he trying to talk to me and what not. Gahhhhhhhhhh. Jana says thinks that he wants to talk to me again, but I really don't think he has any need to. This is what he has been wanting; to not be friends anymore, or just acquaintances. He has told me this countless times. So what the hell is going on?!